From Hollywood to personal poetry – WWD

Megan Fox tries to convince herself that she is open, but the truth is that after the release of her first book of poetry, which is about the different relationships with the men in her life, she needs to return to her home in Los Angeles to feel like herself again.

“I think a lot of people are under the impression that I love attention, which is funny because I’m a tragic introvert. Hopefully I love attention. I’ll have the best life. I’ll have a lot of fun. I have a lot of opportunities,” Fox says. “I can do it.” “So many things, but instead, I feel so anxious and I never want to leave my house.”

Revealing herself is counterintuitive to Fox, and as surprising as that fact about a celebrity might feel. She recently suffered her first panic attack due to book exposure. Publishing a deeply personal book of poems about past abusive relationships, it seemed like miscarriage and recent heartbreak would not appeal to Fox. And yet the poems flowed from her.

“I wrote a lot that wasn’t in the book. There was a lot that needed to come out of me. I have a lot of resentment and a lot of anger and I have a lot of emotions, so writing it wasn’t difficult,” she says. “It was fun to write. Living with them is the hard part.”

Since its release earlier this month, “Pretty Boys Are Poisonous” has become a New York Times bestseller and found an enthusiastic audience of women, many of whom are discovering Fox’s voice for the first time. Fox has been surprised by the level of emotion she experiences during the readings, and the way her words have touched people. Despite her discomfort, Fox always knew she had to publish these poems. The therapist told her that if she continued to endure the pain it would turn into a disease inside her; It was the only way to expel him.

“I knew I always had to put it out there. I feel like one of my strengths is my spiritual foundation, or the way I approach things and my mindset, and I feel like all the things I can offer people through the celebrity platform, that will be my best exposure,” she says. That something like this I should put out into the public because it will hopefully be more impactful than a movie I’ve done or something I’m going to post on f-king Instagram.”

“Pretty Boys Are Sublime” takes its title from one of the poems within, after Fox sent several poems to friends that resonated with that very name.

“This one seemed to sting the most. It was pretty brutal, and that name really seemed to sum up my experience. “I’ve only ever dated musicians or actors or people who fall into the pretty-boy category, so that represented my own experience well.”

She wrote in the book’s introduction that she had long suffered from a savior/martyr complex, believed she was “meant to be a sacrificial lamb” and that the book was dedicated to those who had similar experiences but also to herself “because — K. I deserve better.” None of the men she writes about are named. She says canceling someone was never her intention, but the focus also remains on Fox’s words and experiences, rather than the men who caused her pain.

Fox has three sons – Noah, 11; Bodhi, 9, and Jurnee, 7 — are with ex-husband Brian Austin Green and are supposed to pick up the book one day. She hopes that the lessons her children learn from her words will echo how she raised them.

“I think because I have sons, it’s very important for me to raise boys who are not like these guys I was with,” she says. “It is very important to me to raise boys who are able to have a very deep emotional connection with their partners. It is very important to me that they not be liars, that they are able to be completely transparent and honest and respectful and that they have experience at some point in their lives, and I don’t expect them to when They are 16 years old to have sacred love, but I expect them at some point to get to that place, because my first introduction to women and the way I love them will influence the way they are allowed to love others when they get into a relationship. And so I hope that from By being transparent in the way I relate to them, in the way I show up and be compassionate with them, it allows them to love in a truly healthy way.

The book includes two poems about a recent miscarriage she had with her current partner, Machine Gun Kelly, whose real name is Colson Baker.

“That experience was much more difficult than I expected, and I really analyzed ‘why was that?’ Why was this so difficult for me? Because when I was younger, I had an ectopic pregnancy, and I had other things I wouldn’t say because God forbid the world would be in an uproar. “But I had other similar problems, but not with someone I loved very much,” she said, referring to Baker.

“And so that element of love made this miscarriage really tragic for me and left me with a lot of grief and a lot of suffering. So I put it into a lot of writing. He’s written about them on his albums as well, he wrote a couple of songs about miscarriage. So it felt like something I could talk about publicly Because it’s taken one way through it, so I have room for expression as well.

In the poem “The Stepford Wife,” she wrote about feeling like “a supporting cast in everyone else’s life while I’m an extra in mine.” When asked if she felt like she was now in a leadership role in her own life, Fox responded that she “definitely” wasn’t there yet.

“I have to work on being more selfish, and I’ve always been bothered by the word ‘selfish’ because it seems inherently wrong, but it’s wrong to not have a self, too. So I’m in the process of learning how to have healthy boundaries and a healthy amount of selfishness.”

Part of her journey was to reconsider her relationship with fashion. Fox has placed hypersexualized labels on her — with the media describing her as “sexiest” or “sexiest” — since she became famous via “Transformers” in her early 20s. This, coupled with her social anxiety, made her relationship with clothes complicated.

“I had a weird relationship with fashion because for a long time I was refusing to be famous and rejecting whatever this image was that was attached to me, this person that I was supposed to be. And so, for a long time, I ran away from fashion and lived only in sweatpants or Workout clothes and I never wanted to express myself. “My expression was blocked in that way for a long time,” she says. “And then more recently, I’ve rediscovered that, and especially now, I’m going through all these different stages of like, ‘What do I like and what can I To wear something that expresses what I’m feeling or what I want or what I want to say at this moment? I’m learning to use fashion in a way that reflects who I am now. But for a long time I didn’t use it because I was really struggling with this existential question: Well, who am I?

As a teenager, her wardrobe was a mix of Hot Topic and “slutty outfits from Forever 21,” a combination she recognized in her character in the movie “Jennifer’s Body.”

“I feel like that’s a good representation of who I am in general. And before she turned into a demon and became a goth icon,[Jennifer]was this typical poppy fan, Forever 21 girl. She was this typical girl that there was this other side to her where she became kind of a witch Satanism. “I’m both of those things, and I always have been,” Fox says.

She recently cut her hair into a bob and dyed it bright red, and is in the middle of covering her arm with tattoo sleeves. “Geeky” is how she describes herself, both as a teenager and now.

“I’m just experimenting now with being in oversized pieces or being in things that aren’t necessarily revealing. But there’s a part of me that says, ‘No, I need to be naked this day.'” “I don’t have one set style. “It really depends on how I feel at the moment.”

Observing and honoring how Megan Fox feels today — especially when she’s not on set. She says writing is her most creative outlet, not following directions on camera.

“Everyone’s going to be mad at me for saying this, I don’t care: As an actor, you’re just a puppet. You’re a puppet of the studio or the producers or the director or the writing or whatever. You don’t really control any of the creative processes that happen. Yes, you can bring your creativity and express About something that comes within this very limited box. But I think there are only a few actors who are truly gifted in that way, where they can fully express within the confines of what it means to be an actor. “And I’m not one of them,” Foxx says.

“So I don’t see it as a creative release. I need more control to feel creative. I feel creative when I draw or when I draw. I have to be able to be impulsive and not have a set of instructions. And when you’re acting on a set, you’re so micromanaged that I can’t consider it a creative release for me. If anything, it’s actually very stressful for me.

When asked if this meant she saw herself moving away from acting in the future, she replied that she would go where her instincts took her.

“I’ll take it as it comes. I don’t really have a plan. I guess we’ll see, the universe and the world will show me where I need to be, and that’s what I’ll do. “Say a prayer for me.”

Poetry by Demetrius Giannitos

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